Zima Walked So Truly Could Fall

Zima Walked So Truly Could Fall

Back in the 1990s, someone at Coors Brewing decided beer needed a facelift. They launched Zima, a clear malt beverage that tasted like Sprite if Sprite had trust issues.

It was marketed as “beer for a new generation,” but that generation eventually discovered bourbon and moved on.

Fast-forward a few decades, and here we are again, this time with hard seltzers like Truly, White Claw, High Noon, and every canned cocktail that claims to be “refreshing.”

If Zima was a one-hit wonder, Truly is the tribute band that never got the memo.

Let’s be honest.

Truly tastes like someone yelled the word “mango” across the room while carbonating regret. Yet the challenging seltzer market topped $16 billion in 2024, proving that millions of people are pretending it’s good while secretly wishing it were beer.

The new twist is that we’ve graduated to spirit-based seltzers, vodka, rum, and tequila blends in shiny cans that cost ten bucks a pack.

They’re lighter, stronger, and somehow more expensive.

It’s like Zima went to therapy and came back with a fitness plan.

Now, before you roll your eyes, I get it. Sometimes you’re at the beach and someone tosses you a Truly. You’re not going to throw it back and start a scene. But you’re also not required to enjoy it.

Here’s the thing. Drinks have always been more about who you are than what’s in your cup.

A Truly guy probably has perfect lawn stripes, a golf cart with Bluetooth blaring Bruno Mars, and a playlist called “Pool Vibes 2025.”

If you have to drink one, at least do it right:

• Drop in a shot of bourbon. Fixes nothing, improves everything.

• Pair it with fried chicken or catfish. Grease is nature’s equalizer.

• Toast to the fact that you still have taste buds.