Things We’re Thankful for That Only Make Sense in Kentucky

Every year, someone says, “Write down what you’re thankful for.”

My list always sounds like a dude who spent too much time at a bait shop and not enough time in therapy.

Thanksgiving in Kentucky hits different.

It’s not just turkey and family.

Kentuckians have a special brand of gratitude; the kind that would confuse anyone north of Cincinnati or west of St. Louis.

Here’s what we’re actually thankful for.

When the Gas Station Has Everything That Matters

In other states, a gas station is a gas station. In some parts of Kentucky? It’s a one-stop shop for:

• Your favorite bourbon

• Your favorite ice cream or pizza

• A fried bologna sandwich with onions

• A lighter, a fishing license, a bag of deer corn, and four scratch-offs

Have you ever walked out of a sit-down place thinking, “Should’ve just gone to Miller’s Market”? Exactly. Kentucky might be the only state where “fried chicken” is both a cuisine and a personality test.

If God had a convenience store, it’d be a Shell in Hardin County.

That One Cousin Who Brings Fireworks for No Reason

Is it the 4th of July? No. Is it anyone’s birthday? No. Is it legal? Kind of.

But when the sun goes down, and Uncle Randy’s had two Maker’s Marks, you bet your ass someone’s shooting bottle rockets off the patio grill. That’s called family bonding.

The November Temperature Lottery

Only in Kentucky can you:

• Freeze to death at 6 a.m.

• Sweat like a hog by noon

• Need a hoodie at 3

• And light a fire by 6

You don’t check the weather here. You accept your fate.

Knowing All 120 Counties for No Reason at All

Nobody knows why we learned this. It was never on the ACT. No employer has asked.

But ask most Kentuckians: They can name at least 60 counties from memory and pronounce every one of them like a family member.

Deer Corn Being Sold in Bag Sizes That Violate Physics

Do you need 40 pounds of deer corn? Of course. Does the bag weigh closer to 80? Also yes. And we’re thankful for it.

The Sound of a Four-Wheeler in the Distance

Is it a neighbor? A cousin? A stranger? A deer dragging operation?

Doesn’t matter. It’s the sound of back home.

Enjoy Thanksgiving this year y’all

Thanksgiving isn’t about the big things. It’s about the minor, dumb, beautiful quirks that make Kentucky feel like Kentucky.

Be grateful for your gas station pizza, your unpredictable weather, and your fireworks-obsessed relatives.

Because deep down, you know this place is perfect… in its own weird way.