The Kentucky Dude's Holiday Survival Plan

The Kentucky Dude’s Holiday Survival Plan

I’m not a model. I’m not a fitness coach.

Look to the other Kentucky Dude for calculating macros and getting in superhero shape.

I’m just a guy who wants to see my feet in February.

Here’s the Dude-approved plan for surviving holiday calories without blowing a gasket.

The holidays are coming, which means three things:

1. Food

2. More food

3. Denial

If you stacked every calorie you eat between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, it’d be taller than the Capitol building.

But fear not, you don’t need to become a gym influencer.

You need to follow the Kentucky Dude Holiday Survival Plan.

1. Get a minimum of 6,000 Steps a Day (Or Don’t Sit Down So Much)

The research is clear: You don’t need 10,000 steps. You don’t need a weighted vest. You need to move your legs occasionally, like a man who still wants working knees.

2. Follow the 80/20 Rule

Eat the pumpkin pie. Eat the bread pudding. Eat whatever your aunt made that may or may not contain marshmallows.

But maybe do one healthy meal each day so your insides don’t file for divorce.

3. Drink Water Like It’s Your Job

Half your appetite is thirst pretending to be emotional hunger.

Most Kentuckians are walking around 48 hours dehydrated and don’t know it.

Pro tip: If your pee looks like bourbon, you’re wrong.

4. Do 20-Minute “Guilt Walks”

You ate dessert? Walk.
You ate two desserts? Walk.
You ate the dessert meant for tomorrow? Brother, start jogging.

5. Use the “Hara Hachi Bu” Method

This ancient Japanese practice means “stop eating when you’re 80% full.”
Or, in Kentucky terms:

“Quit before Thanksgiving becomes a medical event.”

6. Don’t Snack While Bored

Ask yourself: “Am I hungry or am I avoiding responsibilities?”

If it’s the second one, congratulations, you’re human.

7. Be Nice to Yourself, Dammit

A holiday plate is not a moral failing.

You’re allowed to enjoy your life without turning your body into a yearly shame project.

Just don’t wait until March to start giving a damn again.

Take Aways

The goal isn’t to get abs (or is it).

The goal for most of use is to survive the holidays without needing new pants or new medication.

Move a little, eat smart-ish, and don’t beat yourself up.

You’re a Kentucky Dude.

You’re built for brutal winters and heavy meals.

Just try not to hibernate until Derby.