Sliding Doors and Broken Dreams: The Great Minivan Fadeout

Sliding Doors and Broken Dreams: The Great Minivan Fadeout

The Ultimate Party Wagon

Once upon a time, a man could slide open the side door of his Dodge Grand Caravan, crank up the Garth Brooks, and roll into Little League with pride.

He had dual climate control, cup holders galore, and a whole lot more swagger than anyone in a Suburban wanted to admit.

And if a dude is riding dirty in a Honda Odyseey, whoa bitch, get out the way.

But here we are in 2025.

You can’t throw a rock in Kentucky without hitting a Tahoe, Yukon, or 3-row crossover the size of a pontoon boat.

And me? I just wanted to buy a van.

A simple, humble, glorious minivan. The ride of dads, coaches, weekend warriors, and Kentucky Dudes with too many hobbies and not enough storage space.

So what happened?

The Fall of the Minivan: A Timeline

1984: Chrysler revolutionizes the market with the introduction of the Plymouth Voyager and Dodge Caravan. Room for the kids, the dog, and a cooler full of sandwiches? Say less.

1990s–2000s: The minivan rules the road. Honda Odyssey, Toyota Sienna, and Chrysler Town & Country become status symbols for suburban dads and soccer moms.

2010s: SUV marketing hits full tilt. Automakers pivot hard. SUVs now offer third-row seating, power liftgates, and... the illusion of rugged masculinity.

2020s: Minivans dwindle. Today, only a handful remain: Toyota Sienna, Honda Odyssey, Chrysler Pacifica. And they aren’t cheap.

Fun Fact: In 2000, over 1.37 million minivans were sold in the U.S. By 2023? Just under 200,000. That’s an 85% drop.

SUVs Killed the Sliding Door Star

It wasn’t the minivan that failed us. It was the perception.

Somewhere along the way, SUVs became a symbol of aspiration.

They were marketed like tactical gear. Crossovers got sleeker. Sedans went extinct. Even trucks started looking like something you drive to yoga instead of a job site.

Meanwhile, the minivan got roasted in every sitcom, commercial, and late-night joke. Suddenly, practicality wasn’t incredible anymore.

Never mind the fact that minivans:

• Fit more people than most SUVs

• Get better gas mileage

• Offer sliding doors so kids don’t dent every car in the lot

• Have better ride comfort than a bouncy truck platform

But hey, image is everything, right?

Dudes, Hear Me Out…

I get it. You want to look good pulling up to Keeneland or dragging a smoker to a buddy’s house. But don’t sleep on a minivan.

You can camp in it. Nap in it. Pack it full of gear for a lake weekend and still have room for your dignity.

Plus, in a world where everyone’s flexing SUVs like Instagram influencers, driving a van says you’re confident. You’re wise. You’ve figured out that life isn't about the ride, it’s about the journey, and having space for a cast-iron skillet and a foldable chair.

Final Thought from the Dude:

The minivan didn’t disappear because it wasn’t valuable.

It disappeared because it wasn’t cool. But that’s where Kentucky Dudes come in.

We’re the kind of people who bring it back.

So if you see a blacked-out Pacifica with a roof rack, a Yeti cooler, and a dude in camo Crocs behind the wheel, know that minivan life isn’t dead.

And maybe, just maybe, the party-wagon will make that comeback, we dudes anxiously await.