The Deck of Cards Conspiracy

Some guy online swore a deck of cards was actually a secret calendar. It sounded cool for about thirty seconds. Then I remembered I am from Kentucky and we ask follow-up questions.

The TikTok That Tried to Play Me

I was minding my own business when a man on TikTok hit me with the wild claim that a deck of cards is actually a calendar.

He said the fifty-two cards were the weeks, the four suits were the seasons, the thirteen cards in each suit were the thirteen weeks in a season, and if you add up all the values, you get three hundred sixty-five days.

He even tossed in the jokers for leap years.

For a second, I thought, “Man, that is genius. How did nobody tell me this in school?”

Then reality walked in like a disappointed parent.

Because none of that is true. Not one bit.

Playing cards came from the Mamluk period in Egypt, traveled to Europe, and the French eventually standardized the deck we use today.

Not one source mentioned calendars, seasons, astronomy, or anything remotely mystical. The numbers match because sometimes life is random.

Still, I almost believed it. So let us lay this thing out like a man who has been lied to before.

The Real Breakdown

The Part About Kentucky That Actually Is True

Here is the twist. The calendar myth is fake, but the Kentucky part is genuine.

Daniel Boone played cards. A lot of them. He carried a deck like most men carry ChapStick and a little bit of emotional damage.

Early ministers in Kentucky complained that settlers were choosing card games over the Bible, which honestly sounds exactly right.

As the state grew, cards became part of everyday life.

Riverboats on the Kentucky and Ohio Rivers were filled with gamblers playing poker, faro, brag, and every other game that involved a deck and questionable decision-making.

Some men made fortunes. Some men went home with a story they told for the next twenty years.

Racetracks used playing cards as betting markers before betting slips existed.

People literally wrote wagers on cards and traded them at the track. If that is not peak Kentucky, nothing is.

So the deck may not be a calendar. But it is absolutely part of who we are.

What I Learned the Hard Way

If something sounds too clever to be true, it probably came from TikTok.

History is more interesting than made-up math.

Kentuckians did not invent the deck, but we used it better than anyone else.

The truth may not go viral, but it makes for a better porch story.