Dudes, there are two places where a man's true character is revealed.

The DMV.

And a Kentucky boat ramp on Labor Day weekend.

Nobody intends to become "that guy."

Yet somehow...

Every Saturday...

Somebody does.

To help preserve what's left of our sanity, I present...

The Official Boat Ramp Commandments.

Thou shalt install thy drain plug BEFORE backing down the ramp.

Not halfway down.

Not after floating.

Not after your buddy says,

"Hey... ain't there supposed to be something in that hole?"

Before.

Thou shalt prepare thy boat in the parking lot.

Coolers. Life jackets. Fishing rods. Children. Dogs.

All of that happens BEFORE you reach the ramp.

The ramp is not your personal staging area.

Thou shalt back thy trailer with confidence... or let someone else drive.

Everybody started somewhere.

We've all jackknifed one.

But if you're on attempt number seventeen...

It's okay to tag your buddy in.

We won't judge.

Much.

Thou shalt not block the ramp while discussing lunch.

Launch.

Move.

Then debate whether you're stopping at Dairy Queen on the way home.

Thou shalt retrieve thy boat with the same urgency used to launch it.

Everybody behind you has somewhere to be.

Usually fishing.

Sometimes just home before their spouse starts asking questions.

Thou shalt offer help before criticism.

We've all forgotten something.

We've all looked stupid.

The difference between a good boat ramp and a bad one is whether somebody laughs...

...or lends a hand.