Slather Before the Sun Slaughters You

AuthorAuthor

Chris Grimes & Stephen Bird
June 11, 2025

Slather Before the Sun Slaughters You

Most of us dudes treat sunscreen like flossing or salad, great in theory, but rarely practiced.

Here’s why that needs to change, especially if your neck sees more sun than your porch swing.

How Sunblock Actually Works

Sunscreens work in two ways. Chemical sunscreens absorb UV rays and convert them into heat, while mineral sunscreens (like zinc oxide) sit on the skin and physically block the rays.

Both protect your skin from UVA (aging) and UVB (burning) rays.

SPF: Not a Fancy Lotion, Just Math

SPF stands for Sun Protection Factor. SPF 30 doesn’t block 30% of rays.

It blocks 97%. SPF 50 blocks 98%.

No sunblock blocks 100%, and the key isn’t just the number; it’s reapplication every 2 hours or after swimming.

What Works and What’s Useless

Spray sunblock? Convenient but often patchy. Anything under SPF 30? Leave it for the tourists.

Daily wear? Women have it right, sun exposure ages skin faster than a teenager on TikTok.

Daily sunblock helps prevent sunspots, leathery skin, and yes, skin cancer.

Don’t be this guy

DudeTips

  • Apply a shot glass worth for your whole body

  • Reapply every 2 hours or after sweating

  • Yes, even in winter. Yes, even if you’re not at the beach

Brand

SPF

Type

Water Resistant

Texture

Best for

Key Ingredients

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer 

55

Chemical

Yes (80 minutes)

Lightweight

All skin types

Avobenzone, Oxybenzone

EltaMD UV Clear

46

Mineral + Chemical

No

Silky

Sensitive/Acne-prone

Zinc Oxide, Niacinamide

La Roche-Posay Anthelios

60

Chemical

Yes (80 minutes)

Fluid

Sensitive

Avobenzone, Mexoryl SX

Coppertone Sport

50

Chemical

Yes (80 minutes)

Thick

Active/Sports

Avobenzone, Homosalate

Supergoop! Unseen

40

Chemical

No

Gel

Everyday use

Avobenzone, Octocrylene

The table above shows the top 5 best-sellers: good picks depending on if you're working in the yard or channeling your inner mountain man.

Neutrogena is the workhorse.

EltaMD is the fancy favorite.

Sources

  • American Academy of Dermatology

  • Journal of Clinical and Aesthetic Dermatology

  • Consumer Reports Sunscreen Ratings 2024